i returned from puerto rico a few days ago & slammed into the ground bolting. i tend to do run myself so ragged, trying to get everything done & feeling OK with not finishing everything cuz that means i get to continue working on it.i make myself so busy that i neglect my close friends and family. it's an awful habit - i must still be afraid of stillness. i'm much better at cultivating the ability to be still, but it's so tempting to be "productive" and "busy".
there's a very special doctor in NJ named wilbur pan & he once told me that he wants to stop saying that he's "busy" because it prevented him from truly engaging with someone, even himself. i agree. if i stay super busy, then i have an excuse to be emotionally distant, not present. true dat.
true to form, i was extremely productive in the last 4 days. i've had 4 auditions, booked a gig, worked on my new website, taught 4 yoga classes, worked at the downtown office job, shopped, cooked, had korean drum rehearsal, practiced yoga, went sailing on lake michigan, had meals with friends and, today, attended 3 events at the 10 year anniversary of my favorite yoga studio - leaving and returning each time.
i love every moment of my life. when i get stressed, i think of sam cooke harmonies and the fact that we're made from stardust. when i'm busy, i get stressed easier. i'd enjoy music and the cosmos much better if i wasn't so darned busy...! elegance and efficiency, right? right? stillness leads to elegant and efficient behavior. meditation is the Rx!
